The decision to divorce is rarely easy, and neither is the conversation that confirms one party wants out.
If you are the one who has made your mind up, you need to think carefully about how you will break the news.
You may want to tell your spouse from a distance if you are scared about how they might react. If violence has been an issue in your marriage, you might even want to get a temporary restraining order placed on them.
If violence is not an issue, try to make it as easy as possible for both of you. Most people who decide to divorce are not scared of their spouse, and they might even quite like them still, but just don’t want to stay married to them. So, you need to avoid doing any unnecessary damage, as that could make the divorce and healing process harder.
Pick a moment when you are both feeling calm
Doing it in the heat of an argument or when one of you is already stressed could cause you both to say hurtful things you don’t mean.
Choose a suitable time and place
Avoid it when engaged in actions where distraction could prove dangerous – such as driving. Avoid doing it just before an important event, such as your father-in-law’s funeral, your spouse’s big speech at work, or your child’s birthday. Once you say the words, your spouse will struggle to think about anything else for days.
Learning more about how divorce works, including the options for a more collaborative approach, can help you answer some of the questions your spouse will inevitably have.